Sharing my Heart: The Awkward and Unfomfortable Place between Deliverance and Destiny

Isn’t it the worst? I mean thank God I’m not where or who I used to be but when will I get to where I should be? Truth of the matter is I’m not even ready to be there! So why is the yearning in the pit of my stomach so strong? Most days I’m excited about all God has in store for me but other days are clouded with discouragement and “what if I never…” 

But even in all of my discontentment something deep down always hopes. How is that possible? Maybe because He ALWAYS comes through for me. I can’t remember one time God has left me hanging. He has had my back every. single. time. 

I’m discouraged because my timeline isn’t God’s timeline. I want the breakthrough NOW. I want the blessing NOW. But God knows, and I must admit I know, that there are some areas in my life that still needs tending to. I want to patiently wait on God with joy in my heart. I want to be done with the mind battles of waiting that attempts to overtake me. I want to stand firm on the word of God and know that “Great are the plans you have for me. Plans to prosper me and never to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

I want to be done with compromising what I believe and changing the way I move to make others feel more comfortable around me. I want to be bold to be who God is calling me to be in all settings and circumstances and not when it’s convenient or “the thing to do”. I want to know that God is enough for me, and that every dead situation that he cuts from my life, although painful, is to bless me and make me stronger. I want to be believe that He “provides for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” (Isaiah 61:3) 

I want to be done with forcing God’s hand and to allow Him to work fully and completely in my life. I want to wait on God. Even in my anxiety. Even in my discouragement. Even in being uncomfortable. Even with mustard seed faith. I will wait on God, because what’s the alternative? To be out of the will of God? Never. That’s too dangerous for me. I rather be covered. So I will wait and know  that “those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:31) I’m waiting on you Lord!

A Prayer for Today

Lord I know I’m not the only one who is anxiously awaiting a move of God. Steady our hearts today and bring back past victories we’ve had in you to comfort our hearts. You know what we need better than we ever could. Even where we are now you are preparing us. Help us oh God to be greatful and appreciative that you wouldn’t release us until we are ready. Help us to know that you are preparing a place and lane for us even now. That God although we can’t see the hand of God on our behalf that you are steadily at work. Build us up, and give us the grace we need during this time of transition. Keep us in our quiet time with you. Fan the flame of our annointings in private so we won’t shrink in public. Let worship be our lifestyle and heal our hearts from those who have mishandled us. Don’t make us bitter Lord, but better. For all things I believe you for. In the mighty name of Jesus the Christ. Amen! 

Be blessed everybody. I love you ❤


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Kendra Edozie says:

    This is perfect! My wallpaper screen saver on my phone reads: “Don’t underestimate what God is doing in your season of waiting”. “While we are waiting, God is working”- Pastor Sarah Jakes. He’s preparing the very best for us during this time. We serve of God of greater! He has the very best for us coming. Love you❤️


    1. Annette D. says:

      Yes he does! I watched that “Headwind” message. She is awesome. Love you!


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